I write this being a person of independent albeit imperfect thought. I wonder why the U.S. is so screwed up. I constantly have discussions with my boyfriend. I tell him how this place infuriates me. It feels horrible and I guess I see what my teachers tell me, yet I don’t believe. They are really polite after all. This place has so much potential, yet morons and imbeciles pull this place so low beyond that I wonder why it is called advance or first world.
When I came here I feared this land. I wanted to be in my developing city with my dirt roads. I loved the placed I grew up. You know what you don’t really know what you have until you lose it. I love the U.S. Let me make this clear, and I don’t take the opportunities here for granted. This is not a comparison to another nation. Mexico my land is worst than here. Yet I rant about it so much because I give a damn about it, and its future. This land was once the beacon of reason, yeah for a short time, it was on top. I know that people argue that this is the greatest nation, and to them I say: Why is this so?
I love U.S. history. Federal touches my heart, and state at least the one I am right now sucks. I know this place has been through a lot and to say that the current state was an effort of the past is to label one ignorant. I will never renounce the advancements of its people, of the few who excel. I am frustrated.
Yet I digress as I often do. Why is this land the best? Since day one on my U.S. schooling the halls echoed one sentence ‘the American dream.’ Time and time again I heard how this land was so magnificent. It is only recently that I opened my eyes. What is so great!? We have the best military my boyfriend always tells me. I could care less for what missiles you have. I care for the thought and the scientific development of this nation. Science is the might. What makes dust into powder and metal fly?
At first I didn’t notice much difference between here and there. My new school had the same subjects, and the same basic principles, and besides the language and the uniform there was little else that stood out when you walked in. Economically speaking there was an ocean of difference. Before I went to a cluster of buildings, when you stepped out of the classroom you step outside, here the halls where inside a single building. We had AC everywhere, an indoor gym and a state provided lunch. The building was lovely too. I was afraid, yet most of my class was in my same shoes we were a bit isolated and held a year back, but were together. I felt at ease.
There were some differences that stood out. First the one I hated most, the books weren’t my own but the schools. I was a geek what can I say after years of the state giving me free books this was a small annoyance. There was a divide of social classes, I must say nothing serious either just once more annoying. Then the obvious one there was a racial separation, yet here in the valley I still felt at home. That’s all I can recall, at this moment, that I saw as different. It wasn’t until later that I started to notice the big and important things.
I had just finished 7th grade when my mother once more asked if I would like to live in the U.S. I said ‘no’ she had asked when I was younger and I was so scared I told her no. I loved my life with my friends, and my school. She said to give it a try one year or something I’m not sure how but she convinced me. I had been to the U.S. since 4 or 5 so I can’t say there was any culture shock there, except in school life. I do go off don’t I? Well I was in 7th grade and I had finished Integrated Physics and Chemistry, Spanish, English, Math, Geography, an Electric class, kind of like Car Shop in high school, obviously more basic, and who knows what else. We rarely had Physical education; it was more of an option than a requirement which was super coolJ. Darn I remember having to take an entrance exam to go to that school, and yes I was afraid.
When I came here I got held, my English was eh okay, but not good enough for formal teaching. So I did excellent in math, reading, history, science, etc. I felt like I was cheating when they said I qualified for the National Jr. Honor Society. It felt good, and my grades were my own.
So nothing tipped me off for several years. I mostly struggle with my homosexuality, by 13 I finally started to say to my self I may be gay, and yeah maybe bi, after all I could point out the hot girls, ha! Anyways through it all I had forgotten other things.
It was in 4th grade that I learned about sex, a really cool boy in my class started to talk about condoms and stuff, and I was like what do you mean? He said how you put your penis in the girl’s vagina and that is called intercourse. He simulated the action with his two hands. I was baffled. I thought to my self how I would never want to do that with a woman. Thankfully I would never have to. By 13 I knew pretty much who I didn’t admit to myself. Actually it was at 13 that I first visited a gay chat room! The guys there were really nice and helpful.
By 5th grade I went to a private school. It was modest by all means, but it was so awesome. We had a class of 5 students, and by 6th it was pretty much this other girl and I and a couple of 5th graders. I had top gradesJ, thank you public school.
Anyways here I hope you see the difference I’m talking about. I was in 1st or 2nd grade, were all dressed the same. Our teacher because of some discussion settled an argument that had erupted, what argument I don’t know and don’t care, but what he said was forever embedded into my brain. He sat in the front and said. Here we are all the same no matter your social class. He said our uniforms made us equal, no fancy clothes to separate us, and then he want on to religion, he said “the moment you enter those gates every morning to come to class you leave your creed outside.” I thought to myself that I could bring my creed wherever I pleased. It was basic, but the truth is secular education was defended strongly. Then again we always had a Christmas tree, and the reenactment of Jesus’ birth, what he was talking mostly about was different beliefs of Christianity.
Here at the U.S. religion was and is everywhere, and it angers me that we have to fight to teach evolution! Outrage! I was thought that in 4th grade or so and believed completely. My nation is 90% Catholic, and must of us are very devout, yet no one had a problem back then. We somehow compromised. I actually saw no problem. So God made us and we ‘grew’ up.
The next year in my private school, it must have been the first week or so, my new teacher started talking to some female student about sex. Very graphically the student asked about what the appropriate age was and about the signs of pregnancy. I was a bit surprised and exited. This woman rocked. She talked about erections, arousal, safe sex, and diversity. No one winked, and it was fine we were 5th and 6th graders we knew better. What I loved the most is that one time we were talking about homosexuality. I was very worried. Then she started telling us about people who were homosexual, I had often seen the transvestites in the public bus. Well what she said next was very helpful to me she said “When you see two men holding hands walking down the street people often ask themselves which one is the woman and which one is the man, well that is very wrong, because they are both are male, so they both are the man.” To this day it is and ideology I carry even into my current relationship.
Back in the U.S. I didn’t hear about homosexuality, except for the “gay” or about guys kissing, or on the locker room. Homosexuality wasn’t in my classroom anymore, and neither was sex. I thought oh surely they will have a program on the next season.
In 7th grade in Mexico we had a sex fare at school. We were told about some STDs, mainly HIV, and condoms, lots of kids got condoms handed from a nurse in a station and other pamphlets, there was a station about homosexuality, but I was too afraid to get even close. I wanted a condom. Most guys where blowing theirs up like a balloon.
No such equivalent had I ever had here in the U.S. I was in 11th grade my last year in school. The drug awareness fares were very similar, but about different topic of course. I had a Health class, and it covered STDs and they basically just tried to scare the hell out of us. I was amused, and disappointed. They all seemed to skip the homosexual chapters, and helpful stuff, that class was a total waste of time and space.
What the hell I thought!? I thought the U.S. was more liberal, more advance, more ahead. In 8th grade our science teacher was touchy about evolution. I was pissed. I saw ‘faith’ t-shirts all over. I wanted a gay club, yet I was so afraid of coming out. I knew what I wanted and who I was, but I still had my family to get on the floor with me. There was this blonde guy that was in my same shoes, and he often said how funny I was or how ‘cute’ something I did was. Damn if I wasn’t such a coward I would’ve asked him out. What a difference that would’ve been. Needless to say I didn’t go to prom. I was a Jr. so heck I could skip and I did. Senior year would be freshman year in college. There again I found what I had been expecting all these years.
What the hell am I still saying? The U.S. needs to become what it can become! Grab a book and read, learn, why you don’t care about your rich history I care! Why don’t you support science? So a couple of guys like to kiss, why make their life hell, don’t we have other things to preoccupy our free time? Why is it that hate drives us, and hope barely sustains us?
I started to write this because of fundamental Islam and people voting for Barak Obama. In short I wanted to argue for science and these two other topics, but I went way off. I really believe people are voting for him because he is a man and he is black. Really people just care for the balls and race! I should finish this off later. Obviously if Barak wins the ticket then I hope he is a great leader, except he doesn’t support gay marriage. Yeah lets us leave marriage to the church, but then why don’t you take it also out of the state and federal laws too! Arrrrrgh.
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